By G. Lillian Murray (1996)

THIS INTRODUCTION to my son Don Murray will give some insight into his intelligence, his concern for everyday living, his perfection in everything he touched—his work, his music, his art, and the giving of himself whenever he was needed. He was and is a very special person.

My son Don loved to talk and express his views on many subjects. Those he spoke with had to possess the caliber of thinking that could respond with elevated ideas on a variety of subjects. He was not a debatable conversationalist, rather one who could broach ideas between himself with family and friends.

Whenever we were together through the years of his life—growing up and especially in his adult life—Don and I had great times sharing long talks about current events, his work and his music. He loved trying to solve the problems of the world. There we were, mother and son, discussing our views about how things were, the events leading up to now, and the possibility of restoring peace in the world with understanding among nations. Even as a young teenager, his interest in these matters were his constant concern and during our talks he always sought my opinion.

Don is greatly missed by his family. How untimely, how sad, that his passing occurred at the young age of fifty-one. He had so much work he was planning to accomplish in the years ahead. Wherever he is, I’m sure he is not standing still. He will continue his endeavors and he will be heard from through his thoughts. I will listen for his messages. Whatever he requests of me, his wish is my command.

Don's Youth—Hobbies and Music

Don’s life was an exciting one as he was blessed with many talents and interests. He could always keep himself busy with fulfilling projects. As a young boy he sculpted dinosaurs, formed from a soft clay product, and painted them in color, making them very lifelike. Then using our garden foliage he established a forest-like atmosphere and with our 8mm camera he shot a movie positioning his sculpture in action, frame by frame. Surprisingly, the “animated” film turned out very well. The family was entertained, watching the prehistoric adventure he so cleverly produced.

Don was interested in model airplanes which he assembled painstakingly, spending many hours building his models to perfection. He then painted his models according to specification and added his own ideas as to color to make them unique. They grew into quite a collection which he displayed in his room with great imagination, and we—father, mother, sister—always enjoyed viewing each newly-finished airplane as soon as he had it in place for us to admire.

Don studied violin and played in concerts with other children his age. His music expanded into piano lessons, which he enjoyed until he decided that the drums would be the most fun to play. His dad provided him with a complete set of drums and found Don an excellent drum teacher with whom he studied for many years. Don found the instrument he loved to play and the drums were his for life.

Don's Youth—Music and Fame

When Don was in high school, he was asked to play his drums with a group that had playing dates, entertaining at college parties providing dance music for the students. They were also engaged to play at the home of the owner of Von’s supermarket chain, for his daughter and her guests at her birthday party. This all led into Don’s future playing with a band and becoming known for his excellence as a drummer.

Don’s music was the most important part of his life. In the early 1960s he formed a band called The Crossfires. The group became recognized as they not only had a steady playing date every Saturday night at the Revelaire Club in Redondo Beach, California. They also made a recording which was played on the radio, “One Potato Two Potato.” During this time, Richard Nixon was running for President and had a speaking engagement where we lived in Inglewood.  Don’s Crossfires band was engaged to play on the same stage with Richard Nixon and they also gave Nixon the fanfare when he walked on the stage to speak. When his speech was finished, he shook the hand of each member of the band and thanked them for making his evening so memorable.

Offers of management and recording contracts began coming in to the Crossfires for consideration , but after careful investigation all were turned down. Then, through the owners of the Revelaire Club, there came a proposal for a recording contract that was acceptable, from the newly established White Whale Records. The Crossfires changed their name to The Turtles. They enjoyed immediate success from their first recording, “It Ain’t Me Babe.” Through the years The Turtles earned many Gold records and Gold albums.

In the early years, The Turtles toured the United States, most notably with The Dick Clark Caravan of Stars, and were guest stars on television shows such as Shindig and Hullabaloo. After he left The Turtles, Don played and recorded with the Surfaris band and was their drummer for years. They appeared TV including the Gidget and Vicki Lawrence shows. Their greatest hit, “Wipeout,” with its famous drum solo played by Don Murray, is still heard today and it is also used for many television commercials. What a performance Don gave on his drums!

For Mother’s Day several years ago Don surprised me with one of his Gold albums. It reads: “Presented to Don Ray Murray to Commemorate the sale of more than 500,000 copies of the White Whale Records Long-Playing Record Album, The Turtles’ Golden Hits.” It is certainly one of the most precious gifts I have ever received. Don’s Gold record hangs proudly in my living room. I was overwhelmed. What a son I have!

Magazine Art Director

When Don was enrolled in college, his major was art, another of his talents. This led to him becoming Art Director of Hot Rod Magazine in Hollywood. He introduced to the magazine an innovative way to display automobiles for advertising that is still being used in publications to this day. He was also Art Director for Palm Springs Life magazine in Palm Springs, a job he held until he moved from the desert back to the Los Angeles area.

At the time he went into the hospital Don’s day job was working for a newspaper in Los Angeles, as a computer graphic artist. He had also established a computer graphics service in his home, Mach Turtle Productions. He became successful immediately and his business was growing.

* * *

The Hospital

Don decided to have a physical check-up as his ulcer was beginning to flare up. The doctor suggested surgery as his stomach showed a serious buildup of scar tissue from a previous operation. He agreed to an operation as his life was becoming very busy with his work, his business, and his music with the band, which was always in demand.

He entered the hospital after New Year’s Day, 1996, and expected to return home within a week. Marilyn and I were there when Don was wheeled out of surgery and into the critical care unit, and were admitted into his room to see him and let him know we were present by his side. I felt a great calm within me that projected my feeling of quietness, which gave me the strength to stand by his bedside and speak softly to him, which controlled my tears, fears, and my emotional concern for him, knowing what he had just experienced. I held his hand. He responded by a gentle squeeze to my hand, which gave me the comforting feeling that he was telling me, “Mom, I’m glad that is over!”

Events Leading to the Unexpcted

He progressed in his recovery the few days following the surgery. Then he took a turn for the worse. My prayers and the spiritual work and study never ceased day or night. The relapse was finally controlled after many hours by the efforts of the doctors attending him and Don once again was stable. My calmness for him never left me. I continued to know that nothing could change his well-being. Don was strong of mind and had the determination of surviving this difficult ordeal.

After the first week , the doctors decided he must have a second operation, an exploratory, as something wasn’t right. The second operation became very serious and extensive. This weakened Don’s body and recovery was slow as he had not yet been able to recover from the first surgery.

My work and prayers for my son became more intense. I remained calm. We never expressed concern for him during the time we were visiting him, as we never allowed ourselves to show our true feelings of the worry we were suffering. I even experienced a joyous feeling for him that he would be able to return home as soon as the healing had taken place after the last surgery.

Another week went by and the doctors decided that yet another surgery would be necessary, making this the third. The doctors claimed Don was suffering from a serious infection that they could not control with antibiotics taken into his body through needle injections. I was deeply concerned for my son’s well-being. I was never contacted for permission for any of the operations other than the first one that Don consented to himself. The doctors proceeded on their own and did not, evidently, feel it was necessary to consult Don’s family or to ever spend time with us to explain the condition of his body.

What went on in that hospital was beyond our understanding. From the moment Don entered its doors, I prayed unceasingly for his well-being and speedy recovery. During that time Marilyn and I visited him constantly. Even though Don was kept in a comatose condition, we were sure he knew we were there with him. It was his facial expressions that assured us he understood us by nodding his head in a forward motion, signifying a "yes" response and a softness about his face while we read from the Bible, Psalms 91, the Hymnal, and spiritual articles of healing and love.

Marilyn sang songs to him and he seemed to enjoy hearing her voice. She spoke of many things that they had shared during their childhood. We held his hands and tenderly caressed his arms and face. We didn’t keep a record of our visits; we kept our visits alive through our talking during our drive home to Palm Desert, reviewing all that we shared with Don through the hours we spent with him.

Two wonderful happenings

Through my fervent prayers, one day I had a most wonderful experience. All of a sudden, I felt a tremendous love pouring into my being. As I was receiving this love it was transferring from me and flowing out into my son’s being. It left me with an exalted feeling that GOD was hearing my prayers for my son, blessing him with His love; He was there with Don, taking care of him and keeping him safe and out of harm’s way. My son, being very spiritual, would understand receiving this outpouring of love was coming from GOD and giving him peaceful rest and ridding him of his fears and suffering.

Another time, at home, I had a vision while I was praying for my son. I saw before me a blackboard as large as the wall in the room where I was sitting. I kept very still and watched as the blackboard was completely written in chalk of the many physical wrongs with Don’s body. Along the bottom of the blackboard was the usual ledge which contained the blackboard eraser. Then there appeared an arm and a hand. The hand picked up the eraser and proceed to erase the writing from the blackboard, beginning from the top, going from side to side until it reached the bottom. When all the writing was completely gone, the eraser was replaced on the ledge and the blackboard was as clean as though it had been washed.

I sat in awe of what I had just witnessed. Then I felt quiet calmness and instantly I realized it was GOD’s hand erasing all the errors claiming Don’s body, and that in GOD’s eyes Don was the perfect man.

A Heavenly Vision

The Doctors decided Don should have another operation, the fourth one, because of serious internal bleeding. The operation was to find where the bleeding was coming from so they could correct the problem. The doctors were not able to find the source, so they closed him up again.

My granddaughter, Angela, took a day off from work to pay Don a visit at the hospital. She asked me to ride with her and a friend, who was also a friend of Don’s, and I welcomed the trip to see my son again. Arriving at Don’s bedside, when Angela saw him—unconscious, a breathing tube attached to his body from between his collar bones to his lungs, his body swollen as though his skin would burst—it was a dreadful sight for her to take in. In her prior visits to the hospital, Don hadn’t appeared so completely helpless. Expecting to see her uncle in a state of recovery and improved health, and finding him the opposite, was more than she could have imagined and it left her devastated. It forced her to shorten her visit. As she headed for the telephone to call her mother, Marilyn, to report on Don’s condition, I remained with Don and spoke softly to him, telling him Angela had been there to visit with him but left to call Marilyn, who was waiting to hear how he was getting along. I wanted him to know Angela had made the trip especially to see him and that she had stood beside his bed talking to him and holding his hand.

The time came to leave and make our return trip home. As we rode along and approached our desert area, Angela was driving, her friend was riding next to her and I was sitting behind Angela. It was a clear night with a full moon. Suddenly the moon began to reflect a most brilliant light. Angela commented that she had never seen the moon so bright and called my attention to it. As we watched the moon become brighter, all of sudden next to the moon there appeared two large wings, side by side. They were so perfect in form, we could see the feathers. The intense light from the moon cast a brilliant light on the enormous wings structure. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Suddenly Angela pointed out a narrow vertical cloud forming below the wings.

We watched as the cloud began to slowly release a form in flowing white folds of a garment. When the form was completed, it stood reflected in the brightness of the radiant light from the moon. We continued to watch these perfect forms as they held their perfect shapes. They stayed stationary for a time I cannot measure. We were in awe of the vision before us—a gift from God, telling us that Don is protected and safe under the shadow of His wing and covered with His feathers. The form clothed in the white flowing robe represented the everlasting spirit of eternal life. We knew from that moment Don was safe in God’s care.  As we received the message, Don was also receiving God’s message of His love for him, as what blesses one blesses all. The forms did not drift away and break apart, but eventually just vanished. The intense light of the moon faded as well and the moon became normal to the eye as we know it.

We rode the rest of the way home in silence. What we had just witnessed was beyond human conception, and we were surely blessed. From that moment on, we had no more fear for Don. He was in God’s arms.

A Joyous Celebration

Throughout the three months that Don lay in the critical care unit, he never regained his health. Soon his vital organs, his kidneys and liver, began showing signs of deterioration. Through many dialysis treatments his kidneys showed no improvement and were failing to function. He was never allowed to wake up or sit up, and no food or drink was allowed him. The doctors were not informative with us and spent little or no time explaining to Marilyn and me what was really happening with Don, about his condition or his progress—if any—toward his ever becoming able to leave the hospital.

I cannot explain what and why these things were happening to my son. Our visits were hopefully comforting for him.

Three days before Don passed away, I began to experience a tremendous feeling of joy. I was busy doing pick-up around the house, and the feeling of joy kept growing stronger until I thought I was going to burst. Then suddenly I experienced a sense of a great celebration in heaven. I knew I was entertaining angels unawares. I was experiencing the same heavenly joy that the angels were—their joy was also mine. I could not hear with my ear, but I could mentally hear the angels singing. My joy was so great, I began singing the hymn, “Joy to the world, the Lord has come, let earth receive her King.” I began walking around the rooms of my house as I couldn’t stand still. I was in a state of joy and love that was beyond explanation. I was bathed in the beauty of a heavenly experience beyond definition. This went on without measure of time, as I was not in control as to what was happening to me. The celebration continued, as well as my joy.

Then I knew. Don was being received into heaven. He had risen into that most holy place, as I could feel all those glorious blessings being bestowed unto my precious son. God saw me fit to be part of Don’s ascension.

What I experienced is beyond description. Through my prayers for my son’s healing and spiritual protection from harm, suffering, fear and doubt, God showed me—through the blessings of the visions—that He was protecting Don every minute of every hour while he was under medical care. God keeps the promises he makes.

Don, having already left his body, was beginning his life eternal. In the days that followed, because his body was on life support, his heart kept beating and the breathing machine continued to supply oxygen to his body. Finally, his body stopped functioning.

* * *

Our grieving became intense.

Don was never given the chance to fulfill his life here on earth. He was so excited about all the plans of starting his own business and already had eager customers, using his computer skills to advertise their companies. In reforming his musical group, he was already promised engagements. His writing skills, his art and his music were a major part of his life. He was looking forward to all the new beginnings. During this time, we began hearing from friends from years past. They too became a blessing to the family, offering their assistance in any way that could be of help.

Angela's Dream Vision

My granddaughter Angela was dusting off her car when suddenly she looked up and saw Don standing in the doorway from the living room watching her. He was his perfect self, dressed in his blue pajamas. No facial hair, the hair on his head full and wavy, he looked his handsome self and younger than when he passed away. He said to her, “I am back again.” She said to him, “I love you.” He said, “I love you, too.” He then came through the door and walked to her and embraced her. She then asked him, “Where have you been?” He hesitated, and at that moment her telephone rang and woke her up out of her dream vision before Don could give her an answer. It made her sad that she was interrupted as it ended their conversation. It seems there always are interruptions that we cannot control, but perhaps they are necessary and we do not know the answer.

Helen's Dream

Shortly after Don passed away, my other granddaughter, Helen, told us about a dream she'd had. This is what she experienced:

“One night a few weeks after Don’s death, I had a dream that I was on the telephone with Don. He seemed content and like nothing had happened. It was just a normal conversation like I would have had with him any other time he would call: ‘How are you?’ ‘I’m fine, how are you?’ ‘What are you doing?’ Well, after a while, I asked him where he was. He paused, then replied with a statement like, ‘What do you mean?’ and then it ended. Maybe he was just at his house in the dream and he meant that I should know where he was. Or maybe he didn’t know what had happened to him and didn’t know he was deceased. He may even have meant for me to figure out he knew what happened to him, and I was just supposed to know where he went.”

Don was very fond of Helen. They shared a lot of time discussing computers, both being computer whizzes. He must have needed her to share this time with him, just to let her know he was thinking of her. Don loved his nieces. He always kept a watchful eye on them, protecting them, so no harm would ever touch them. He was and is quite a man.

Friends from Long Ago

A couple of months after Don’s passing a friend of his surprised me whom he had known many years ago—a young woman whom the family was very fond of and whom we never have forgotten. It was wonderful to hear from her. She had read about Don’s passing through an article in the Screen Cartoonists Guild newsletter (they were both members). Years before, we had moved from our home in Los Angeles to Palm Desert and our telephone number had changed with our relocation. Backtracking through the person who had placed the notice in the newsletter, she found a co-worker who had been friendly with Don when he worked at Hanna-Barbera. That friend had recently gone to an appearance of Don’s musical group at a well-known Hollywood nightclub, and noticing that Don was not on stage she was told that he had passed away. The co-worker then did some searching and found my phone number for the old friend to get in touch with me.

When I received the call from her, we spoke for hours. Our conversation was a wonderful and enlightening reunion for her and our family. She told me that she was having very strong feelings about us she felt driven to locate us, that the strong feeling was coming from Don, to find us and let us know that he was still alive. “You’ve got to let my mother know that I am not dead!” she felt Don saying to her. She asked me how I was getting along and what she could do to bring us some comfort. She then said she would like to send me some books to read about the hereafter, that would perhaps ease the pain of missing Don.

I thanked her and said I would love to read any and all the books she could send to me, that if this was Don’s direction to her, I will be glad to receive all the help she could supply us with. She also told me that she and Don, during the time they were seeing each other, spent many hours discussing their mutual spiritual beliefs and how very enlightening their sharing each other’s thoughts enlarged their understanding of God. She added that she is doing this for Don for his family. She somehow knew this is what he needed from her for us. I was touched. I thanked her and accepted her offer, and welcomed the books.

It was, within a few days, that I received in the mail a large package of books containing accounts of contacts with departed loved ones, how the contacts were accomplished and how much comfort it brought to them being in communication with each other. The books also told of how we continue our work on the other side, right where we left off on earth. It gave me and Marilyn an understanding we had never known and a calming awareness that we will never be without Don’s presence in our lives. The books are still being mailed to us. She said in her last telephone call she is Don’s "legs" as she is always in search of more material on the subject to send to us. We are now renewing our friendship and are planning visits with each other, never to lose contact again.

Visiting a Friend

Soon after Don passed away, I received a telephone call from a another dear friend of Don’s. They had shared several years together. She had known he was in the hospital and then heard he had passed away. We spoke for several hours, as there was so much to talk about their time together. Her work was in the military and at the time she was stationed in Spain , Don made three trips to Spain to visit with her. They had a grand time, especially the times she was able to have her accumulated hours of time off. They were able to tour in Spain and other countries. France was one of Don’s favorites. When her contract in Spain was completed, she was transferred back to the United States, and began work in San Diego. At her arrival home Don was there to meet her and help her establish a residence.

She needed to tell Marilyn and me about her visit from Don after his passing. He appeared to her in her home and spoke to her. He told her, “I have five hours I can spend with you. We can go somewhere together, a movie if you would like that, and then I must leave.” She asked him why he must leave and where was he going? And he said, “I am going back to heaven.” Don was very fond of her and he must have needed her to share this time with him. She said she would keep in touch with us. We agreed to visit each other. She said she had pictures of their time in Spain and was going to share them with us.

Don's Thoughts and Advice Received

It is interesting knowing who Don sought out to contact after he passed on. It must be the ones very close to him that he cared about; he wanted them to know he selected them as they were very important to him and had a great influence on being a part of his life.

Don’s appearances and sending his thoughts to us and his love does prove the hereafter is not the mystery we thought it to be. It is comforting to know our loved ones can be reached. It’s up to us, living on earth, to make the contacts.

I speak to my son every day. I keep him current on all the events happening in our lives. If I need his advice, I know he will be there to send his thoughts to me and make the right decisions and set me in the right direction.

I told him we know he is here with us and we will need him to advise us to take care of the things that concern him, as to what to do in his behalf. The talks with Don have proved very fruitful, as there were several occasions that needed his attention. I discussed these things with him and listened for his instructions.

One case of indecision on my part became very stressful for me. It was something that was very important to him when he was living here day by day on earth. I discussed this matter with him and explained that I didn’t like the way this particular event was developing and that it required signatures from Marilyn and me to proceed on his behalf. My better judgment said we should not sign, a definite no. I asked him what we should do and how he felt about my decision. He answered through his thoughts to me: “Mother, I’m not there anymore. It has become trivial.” From that “thought answer” Don expressed, I told Marilyn that  I will have nothing to do with this and neither should she. Marilyn’s lawyer friend read over the contract in question and his answer was also a definite no. It isn’t over yet, at this writing, but it will be taken care of in Don’s behalf, in due time.

I also spoke to Don about my great concern and uncertainty regarding another matter. “I need direction—what should I do?” His “thought answer” came to me: “Go see Nancy.” Nancy is Don’s ex-wife with whom we have kept in touch. While they were married, she and Don helped me through a very difficult situation which luckily turned out very well for me. Don felt she would be the person to give me sound advice on this matter. I spoke to Nancy about Don’s suggestion and she was thrilled to know Don thought she was the best one to help me make up my mind. We have yet to get together, but agreed that as soon as we can, we will arrange our meeting.

It is a thrilling experience for me, knowing I can communicate with my son and that he responds with his thoughts, advising me on finding solutions in important matters to satisfy the needs of all parties concerned. Don’s wisdom in the direction he guides me is my blessing from him.

My son speaks, I listen.

Amen